Sunday, October 21, 2007

Idolatrous Rex

A recent fossil discovery in the Midwest has proved to explain the empty walls and altars, while leaving room for plasma screens, in the Mega-churchs of North America. The newly named Idolatrous Rex appears to be a small, single sighted creature, often found with an abundantly underlined Bible, but without any religious symbols found anywhere in it's meeting or dwelling place (save for a strange "fish" emblem , below a Baltimore Ravens or LAX sticker, often found on it's SUV).

While it is rumoured that this creature was a follower of "The Way", there seems to be no physical evidence of this among the stadium seating (with cup holders) within it's meeting place, nor among the hundreds of family photographs which litter it's nesting habitat. In the writings they seem to love this God/man "Jesus" above all things, but in fact must be terribly afraid of His appearance, as there seems no images of Him anywhere, nor His "wondrous Cross" their Holy writings say saved them from sin and death.

Like the Masons, they could have possibly been a secretive society, not wishing others to see symbols of this "peace that passes understanding" or "unending joy", for fear they might steal it, although their Sacred writings seem to suggest they are to "spread the Good news". The huge televisions in the corporate areas, we assume were used to scare the collective into submission, by letting the "leaders" appear bigger than life (their writing calls it "exalting"), and who we are guessing are the Pharisees their book mentions.

While much further study needs to be done, we have concluded that it was most likely their single-sightedness (and use of birth control) that lead to their ultimate demise.

originally posted in March



Athos said...

Top flight analysis of the Gospel Lite mega-browser worship mall phenomenon, D'art. Feel free to republish it en toto @ 4Ms, por favor! Our readers -- all three -- would get a chuckle from it, I'll bet.

B said...

I just read a article about joel olstens new book... a bible teacher said that he closer resembles a motivational speaker. and wonder and though people could just watch more oprah.