Saturday, March 30, 2019

Saturday, March 2, 2019

Un-answered prayer

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I have never been good at praying for myself - never asking for a wining lottery ticket or even healing from cancer - even if I try I find the selfishness of it a hindrance to formulating the words. Praying for others is easy, and rarely even requires any thought, an almost instinctive reaction to someone struggling or suffering.

I think this is why I find God’s inability to answer my simple daily prayer, one I repeat dozens if not hundreds of times a day - “please let me die”

No, not asking for riches or a wife or a new job or car, just that the mistake of my birth to finally be corrected. I doubt there is a person who has ever met this worthless old man that truly believes I belong here or that I have ever enhanced a life (hindered or hurt, but never has a person been made better for knowing me).

“Please let me die” a simple request to an uncaring deity.

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Monday, January 14, 2019

Wrestling with God

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There once was a time in which I thought it would be the greatest thing to be able to finally embrace our creator, but more and more these days I just wanna kick his butt . . . .that this is the best he could come up with, that there would be so much suffering at his hand, all so he could have nice little pet humans . . .ugly and vile.
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Sunday, January 13, 2019

Double Merle Predestination

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Of Calvin's many distortions, his most famous was the ridiculous, and fairly Gnostic, idea of "double predestination". That God picked from the beginning the saved and the damned, and that nothing a person did could change their eternal outcome . . . .basically saying our earthly life is meaningless.

Naturally, this idea goes against that of a loving or merciful God.

But is the reality any more evidence of a loving God?

I was thinking of a terrible practice in dog breeding, specifically that of creating Double Merles. This double merle gene breeding can create absolutely beautiful dogs, with the majority of a litter sadly also born blind or deaf or worse (often they are just merely destroyed).

This vile practice of creating a litter in the hopes of keeping one or two reminds me a little too much of how we were made. That God in His infinite intellect decided that it was worth it to Him to create a species that He would inevitably have to destroy, or damn, much of . . . .that He couldn't come up with a better plan and decided to proceed anyway is to me as vulgar as the double merle breeding.

While I am not God, I must say if I had the choice to create a race knowing I would haver to destroy some, vs just not, I would have chosen the latter.
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