Saturday, March 30, 2019

Saturday, March 2, 2019

Un-answered prayer

I have never been good at praying for myself - never asking for a wining lottery ticket or even healing from cancer - even if I try I find the selfishness of it a hindrance to formulating the words. Praying for others is easy, and rarely even requires any thought, an almost instinctive reaction to someone struggling or suffering.

I think this is why I find God’s inability to answer my simple daily prayer, one I repeat dozens if not hundreds of times a day - “please let me die”

No, not asking for riches or a wife or a new job or car, just that the mistake of my birth to finally be corrected. I doubt there is a person who has ever met this worthless old man that truly believes I belong here or that I have ever enhanced a life (hindered or hurt, but never has a person been made better for knowing me).

“Please let me die” a simple request to an uncaring deity.


Monday, January 14, 2019

Wrestling with God

There once was a time in which I thought it would be the greatest thing to be able to finally embrace our creator, but more and more these days I just wanna kick his butt . . . .that this is the best he could come up with, that there would be so much suffering at his hand, all so he could have nice little pet humans . . .ugly and vile.

Sunday, January 13, 2019

Double Merle Predestination

Of Calvin's many distortions, his most famous was the ridiculous, and fairly Gnostic, idea of "double predestination". That God picked from the beginning the saved and the damned, and that nothing a person did could change their eternal outcome . . . .basically saying our earthly life is meaningless.

Naturally, this idea goes against that of a loving or merciful God.

But is the reality any more evidence of a loving God?

I was thinking of a terrible practice in dog breeding, specifically that of creating Double Merles. This double merle gene breeding can create absolutely beautiful dogs, with the majority of a litter sadly also born blind or deaf or worse (often they are just merely destroyed).

This vile practice of creating a litter in the hopes of keeping one or two reminds me a little too much of how we were made. That God in His infinite intellect decided that it was worth it to Him to create a species that He would inevitably have to destroy, or damn, much of . . . .that He couldn't come up with a better plan and decided to proceed anyway is to me as vulgar as the double merle breeding.

While I am not God, I must say if I had the choice to create a race knowing I would haver to destroy some, vs just not, I would have chosen the latter.