Tuesday, July 24, 2012

RePost : Offer it Up

As I seem to have thrown my back out again, I thought I would re-post this from 2010, as at least a reminder to myself that my suffering can be a blessing to others if I remember to not only accept, but to "Offer it up" as well. . . . of course any prayers for quick healing are more than welcome.

"Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake,
and in my flesh I am filling up
what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ
on behalf of his body, which is the church"
Col 1:24
Once upon a time not so young D'art was engaged, and through the process, and calling off of the wedding, learned that people can be hurtful, spiteful, can lie, can steal, can disrespect and betray . . . generally do everything that my own sins did to Christ.

I can honestly say that if I took all the wrongs done to me before, and multiplied them by 100, it would still come short to what happened back then. Even until this past winter I was still suffering from battle fatigue, not being able to really talk , and definitely not trust, anyone . . .and my fathers death and my own similar health diagnosis, I confess, made me not so trusting of God either.

Knowing change had to be made, the plan for coming to this lil' glimpse of paradise on the Chesapeake and starting a business was formed. Moving here was both stressful and a lil scarey, especially as my previous future wife had depleted most of my savings, but I knew it was a good choice to be free of the "me first" mentality of city life.

Less than a month after the move, my boss had me work at our warehouse in Virginia, and with in a few hours someone asked me for a small, but heavy, box of Glass . . ."POP!" . . not only goes the weasel but my back too. I worked through the day hoping it was just a minor thing, but than we had the blizzard a day later, and shoveling a couple feet of snow turned my back from bad to worse.

Two herniated Discs = Pain, pain, and a lil' more pain.

As I prayed for the strength to endure, and learn, from this, that still small voice kept saying "Offer it up for -------, suffer for -------"

"What, you want me to offer my sufferings up for her?" I thought "but you know what she did, and than did at Dad's funeral . . .for her?????????"

"yes, for her" was the answer, and it slowly, obediently, became my answer too

When the pain drove me to the ground
" I suffer for --------"
When I couldn't sleep from lack of any position even mildly comfortable
" for ------ I offer to you Father"
When tears ran down my face as I tried to drive to work
"Lord, for ------- receive my sufferings"

This lasted for three months . . . .three long, and painful months, but ended the same day Lent ended. My back was much better, but silly me, I prayed to our Lady to let me keep a lil' of the pain, so I can remember the gift of this suffering. She faithfully answered my prayer, and everyday I wake with a lil' reminder of what Christ did for me, and asks me to do for others.

Most of the anger and resentment towards the sad lil' girl hiding in a woman's business suit has passed, with a touch of bittersweet being the faint feelings of love I first had on the day we met, and now I continue to ask our Lady daily to pray for her, in the hopes we both get to sing together, all tears then dried, with Her and the Son forever.

So, next time someone really attacks you, attack them back
. . . with love, with prayer, and by "Offering it Up"
No, it ain't easy,
but neither was hanging on a cross.



Melanie said...

what a beautiful gift. thank you for sharing. i will remember you both in prayer.

Russ Rentler, M.D. said...

what a wonderful isllustration of redemptive suffering, showing us how to actually do it! Thanks brother!