A Walking Proof

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Will be creating a NEW blog to focus completely on, what I hope is, God's mission for me now, to show the extensive damage which has come from our contraceptive culture.

The cancer was caused by HPV, a virus that even my doctors make the defeatist comment "oh, everyone has it by now" instead of maybe actually admitting that casual sex is a lie straight outta hell. Sure the docs and media want folks to get a vaccination, because it is unimaginable to them that people live lives of chastity, even though it was only fifty years ago we could count the number of STDs on one hand, whereas now there are over 30.

Not only do I have to wonder now if the cancer will return, but also which of my friends or family will be the next to go through this.

https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/silent-epidemic-cancer-spreading-among-men-n811466

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All things New

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I have mentioned the medieval torture device I get to wear as I am strapped down for 10 minutes during treatment 5 days a week, and my bizarre notion to want to not only keep it, but turn it into art and frame it.

the chemo causes me to have a bit of insomnia, which has actually produced some pretty clever ideas , with one being the "how" of decorating this thing which is, God willing, saving my life.

I am going to take photos of all the incredibly wonderful staff who has been part of my treatment and then decoupage the photos onto the masque. So instead of the torture device, I will see, and can remember to pray for, the folks who have given me such great and compassionate care.
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Offering it up ain't always easy

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I whined about my notso great day yesterday when I should have been lifting up that suffering and appreciating the good I saw.

One of my favorite club members got to ring the Last Day Bell, and his whole family came to watch. I am actually gonna miss seeing him, but yet so happy I won't and glad he's home and starting the recovery (even after treatment the effects can last a month or more, and one woman told me her taste took a year to return . . . 'course I said "I'm from Balwmer, so I aint never had any taste (O: )

Then before I left Hopkins, after being their for 8 hours, I met a quiet couple about my age, the women looking pretty worn down, and I while I usually chat folks up I left them alone. When the wife went to the rest room I just starting a chat with the husband about where they are from and thank God it's the weekend.
He talked for a while and I even saw him smile a little, but then he told me that they said he will soon be losing his wife of 24 years. I merely said I was truly sorry. His wife came back and they left, with my horrific day put very much into perspective.

While I of course immediately started to pray for them, I didn't tell them I would, I was too worried about offending them that I didn't say that simple little phrase I normal spout "
"if you don't mind, I will be praying for you"

and I hope some of you will take a knee for them now.

If you pray for me, be it a prayer that I will be His light as much as possible when I am there . . .I can suffer, I can go through all this crap, but I just need help is the strength to stop being a whiny lil' wimp and instead carry that Love that I have so undeservedly been giving to everyone I meet.
thanks and God bless!
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Santa Rosa

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"Apart from the cross
there is no other ladder
by which we may get to heaven."
Saint Rose of Lima
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Grace comes after Suffering

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“If only mortals would learn how great it is to possess divine grace, how beautiful, how noble, how precious. How many riches it hides within itself, how many joys and delights!
Without doubt they would devote all their care and concern to winning for themselves pains and afflictions. All men throughout the world would seek trouble, infirmities and torments, instead of good fortune, in order to attain the unfathomable treasure of grace.
This is the reward and the final gain of patience.
No one would complain about his cross or about troubles that may happen to him, if he would come to know the scales on which they are weighed when they are distributed to men."
Saint Rose of Lima
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Medicine for Salvation

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"Let us understand that God is a physician, and that suffering is a medicine for salvation, not a punishment for damnation."
St. Augustine

One of my customers said "with all you are going through, I don't see how you can believe in God"

"Truth doesn't change with situations, truth is truth, 4+4=8 regardless if I have cancer or win the lottery, so the same God is God"

Than I asked " if yer son needed an injection to save his life,but hated needles, wouldn't you still let the doctor give him the shot and worry about the tears later?"

"of course"

"Well, looking at my situation through the eyes of eternity I see that this evil terrible thing I am going through will be thought of as nothing but a pinprick if I even remember it once I am there"

Sadly, as most people are want to when faced with reason, she than changed the subject to religion and suicide bombers, to which I said my usual retort

"Writing off all religion because of the evil actions from one is as silly as writing off all of science because of Hiroshima"
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Rejoice in My Sufferings . . . .

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"Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake,
and in my flesh I am filling up
what is lacking 
in the afflictions of Christ
on behalf of his body, 
which is the Church"

I am so thankful for the teaching on redemptive suffering - that what I am going through - what I soon will be going through - can be used for His glory and for His children - that suffering offered up has purpose - I thank and praise God for this!

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Perhaps a Miracle

Cancer Sucks!, but I am thankful that my faith, and the Author of my faith, will walk each step with me. I know that I neither need or deserve a miracle (the Lord has my heart either way), but if one were to happen it would be my hope that it could be attributed to someone worthy of canonization, in particular Dorothy Day.

So I ask all my friends, in humility, to daily ask this holy woman to pray for me, thanks and God bless!
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Casa Monk for the Summer

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Subletting my house for the Summer while I go through radiation and Chemo, if anyone knows someone visiting the area, or that might need a temporary place while looking for a long term home.
*pics in ad

https://washingtondc.craigslist.org/mld/sub/6192684800.html

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File Under : Yep, He's from Bawlmer

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Hopkins Doc. : You are also going to need a speech therapist
Me: So, I will have trouble talking?
Hopkins Doc: Maybe a little at first
Me: Will I be able to sing in the choir
Hopkins Doc: If all works as it should, of course
Me: that's great, cause they never let me sing before (O:
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File Under : a lil' perspective.

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While waiting in line at the Oncologist at Hopkins today there was a young boy in front of me
. . . A boy of about 12 or 13
. . . a young boy with Downs, with leg braces, with cancer
. . .he also had a wonderful smile
. . . So how dare I not smile as well.
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He has known all our suffering

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Pet/Scan next week and meet with Oncologist at Johns Hopkins.
Sickness, suffering, death, whatever
. . . I am blessed to serve the God who
(to poorly paraphrase Jesus)
"Been there, done that, conquered that Sh*t"
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Never alone

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We speak so often
of Christ's suffering for us
that I fear we forget
that because of that act
each time we suffer
He truly suffers with us
and that is good news indeed!
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