Monday, July 20, 2009

The Da Vinci Commode

A person in the publishing industry (toilet paper stocker in a NY Borders), twittering on the condition of anonymity (also on their Facebook and myspace pages), has disclosed some of the new mysteryies and secrets that will be revealed in Dan Brown's upcoming thriller "The Da Vinci Commode".

Seems Mr. Brown's love of history (or his story) has lead him to uncover even greater conspiracies than the type of diaper that was used on the child Jesus. Now delving into our own countries background, our courageous writer is about to break wind of the stories behind some of the greatest lies us school kids were ever told.

*spoiler alert

1) While many already know that George Washington grew marijuana (Brown sites references from "Dazed and Confused", among others), he reveals here that "not inhaling" is actually a secret sign of the diabolical Society of Jackie Masons, which former President Bill Clinton was a secret member.

2)Brown infilltrates, and stays an active member, in a secret green paper worshipping subsect of the Jackie Masons, known as the "Holly Wood Greedy Bastages"

3)Finally, he illuminates on the cryptic message " Dan Brown is a toothless doofus" that was found on the underside of Elvis Presley's toilet, the very one that is believed to have been installed by DaVinci's plumbist ancestors, the Mario Brothers, and on which the King "died"
. . .or did he?

sadly, more to follow

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