Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Why, oh why must it come to this?

Can't we embrace the things that we share?

Don't dentists hate us, while making millions from us
(kinda like that Dan Brown guy and Madonna)

O.K., McDonalds prefers one of us,
while Taco Bell prefers the other
But don't we have WAWA and 7/11 in common?

Yes, yes, our flavorings may be a tad different,
but don't we share the same excessive sugar, sodium, and caffeine levels?

Sure belches are better with Pepsi,
while Coke is the flatulence favorite,
but neither are welcome during
a wedding ceremony or first date.

One of us believes that only red and white are necessary for pure design, where the other feels lead to place blue above all, with only a gentle nod to red and white.
But in both cases, or twelve packs, are the red and white still not there!

We share in the same basic recipe of carbonated battery acid that so many folks desire on a daily basis, and our goal must be for all people to be united in this thirst (due to both our high levels of sodium).

With the Red Bulls advancing from the East, and the Bottled Waters of the West and South, can us true soda-ites we really afford to picker over trivial matters?

Really, can't we all just get along?

*Sponsored by the Ecumenical Cancel on Tooth Decay

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