Thursday, January 25, 2007

Let me see Your hands

“I know God will not give me anything I can't handle.
I just wish He didn't trust me so much.”

Mother Teresa

Lately I have added one thing to my daily prayer, and after reading the writings of the Saints ,as well as the Psalms, I know that it isn't a new prayer.

After possibly the most difficult year of my life , all I truly needed from God was/is to know He is there, and that all is in His wonderful hands, and moving according to His perfect plan. We Christians (especially me) love to say "don't worry, God's in control", but forget how much of a struggle it is to live out that truth, and I'll admit this sin is the one constant when I go to confession; that I don't trust Him . . .or worse, that I do, but my own plan is more comfortable.

Derek Webb wrote a similar musical confession in his tune "I Repent"

I repent, I repent of my pursuit of America's dream
I repent, I repent of living like I deserve anything
of my house, my fence, my kids, my wife
in our suburb where we're safe and white
I am wrong and of these things I repent

I repent, I repent of parading my liberty
I repent. I repent of paying for what i get for free
and for the way I believe that I am living right
by trading sins for others that are easier to hide
I am wrong and of these things I repent

I repent judging by a law that even I can't keep
of wearing righteousness like a disguise
to see through the planks in my own eyes

I repent, I repent of trading truth for false unity
I repent, I repent of confusing peace and idolatry
by caring more of what they think than what I know of what we need
by domesticating You until you look just like me
I am wrong and of these things i repent

To "repent" means to turn from sin and dedicate oneself to the amendment of one's life. Often I "dedicate" myself so much to the task of turning away, that I focus on the sin so much that I inevitably find myself back in it. Instead I/we need to just focus on the Prize, and the One who has already won it for us.

Focusing on the Prize makes the struggle to achieve it easier; Focusing on the finish line lets you bear the rocks under your feet; and knowing all along that we have a holy cheering section eternally rooting us on.Hebrews 12:1

Again, all this is easier said than done, but ALSO easier to do than we think. It isn't our own strength we count on , but the One who has already ran this race, and Who knows the course by heart.

So, my new prayer is this:

"My God, I will joyfully bear anything,
the hard pounding of that hammer
forming me into the me You designed,
that You can use in some way.
I only ask Dear God that when I feel the hammer,
you let me see it's Your hand holding it"

Friends, let us remind each other of Who holds that hammer, on the times the forging of our being seems to much to bear.


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