Fred: How could I forget the happiest day of my life?
Nine years ago on Good Friday, I had the 700 Club on the tube as I prepared for work (Does this tie go with those jeans?,Chuck Taylor's or boots? etc.). At this time I was no longer calling myself an atheist, but had not yet completely embraced my True love. I had for some time, been aware of the warmth on my back, and glimpses of a Light that was shining on me, but my intellect or pride, would not let me turn completely around
It had been about a year and a half since I first started thinking about God - first started hearing that knocking on my heart's door - first started catching my self weeping in joy about this Jesus, who knew every vile thing about me, yet chose to die for me anyway. An "Ayn Rand" atheist, who suffered for most of my life with depression, I was not about to let the emotions that too often whispered "worthless" in my ear, make me become one of those wacky Christians.
Of course, in that time God had put many wonderful Christian s in my life. There was David, a coworker who first gave me "Mere Christianity" (a book that reads like Ayn Rand on Damascus Road), and who showed me Jesus in his actions, rather than ever preaching. There was of course my brother James, who's change after Christ, made him the brother I always hoped for.
Deacon Whitaker, an amazing man who taught me early on (and my personal hero), who would later teach my RCIA class and was present when I was welcomed into the Church.
My girlfriend at this time, a very loving and giving person, while trying to be supportive of my own search, ended up bumping into her Savior as well. I am happy to say that she is still my friend, has found a wonderful Catholic man to share her life with, and will soon be popping out her first child (Praise God!).
Father Beaubien, also a convert, gave me the best advice during that time, as he told me,
"You sound like you are on the right road, just keep walking"
All that time, I was just shown love, given support and encouragement, and I know also, that many of the above spent a lot of time in prayer,talking with God about this silly long hair they knew.
Friends, um, please keep a praying (although the hair has since been donated to Locks of Love ), and thank you all!!!
O.K., where was I?, oh yeah, well I had just decided to wear my gray and white skinny tie with my dark grey vest, when Pat Robertson came on the TV, and asked if anyone wanted to know Jesus. I had heard this question numerous times before, but that day I just stopped and went to my knees. I said the "Sinner's prayer" along with Pat, and stayed down on my knees for a tad longer, than got up and walked to work. No biggie (o:
I had just made angels rejoice in heaven, but my day was actually pretty much the same until mass that night, when for the first time it bothered me that I couldn't receive the Eucharist. As my friend went up to partake in true Communion, I wept in my pew knowing that I was missing something wonderful.
Well, it's been a very difficult journey to today, as birthing pains are never pleasant, but like any mother will tell ya, the joy is so very worth it.
Please pray that I "keep walking", and that I keep my focus on my Father, patiently waiting at the end of the road, arms stretched out, oh so ready to one day receive this silly ex-long haired man/boy from Balwmer.
A Good Good Friday to all!
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