I was, for almost 24 hours, happy this week; something I can't honestly say I have been for about a year now. The last truly happy day for me was that incredible night when the wonderful, but confused, woman I was madly in love with last year, agreed to finally move our relationship towards marriage (which sadly was only a manipulative, albeit unconscious, device to prevent me from finally ending a stalled courtship).This week, the moment of happiness came out of the possibility of my getting a new Jeep Unlimited as my company car. That idea has since been shot down, but I shamefully admit that the thought of me having a vehicle which allows the top to be removed (I am generally in it from 8-10 hours a day) had me almost as excited as I was on that morning last summer, when I left the jewelry store, diamond ring in hand .
If you think this all sounds rather shallow, you are soooooo very right to think that. I am very ashamed that I fell for the dangling carrot again, while forgetting for a moment the Truth of the Joy that lives in me every single second of everyday. A Joy that is ever present, regardless if I temporarily feel happy or sad, bored or excited; for Joy is found in truth, where happiness is found in "feelings".
Happiness from a car?
I pondered on the Saints, and how few, although some, were ever considered "happy", but how the words "full of joy" or joyful" are to be found in almost every description of every Saint . . .along with the words "humble" and "lover of God".
Well again I have fallen, and again was lifted up by the forgiving love of our wonderful Savior.
Am I happy? don't care
can I be used to make others feel happy, or better, Joy? I believe so
do I have Joy, you betcha!
Thanks be to God!
1 comment:
This is so true! Isn't it silly how we've been taught these sort of things year after year, but we still forget and get caught up in some worldly want. My big thing is to remember not to worry. :-/ Yeah..umm still working on it :-)
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