Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Cursing a blessing

Utilizing fully my Baltimore-ness, I again finagled a trip to Italy from my boss, to only days later trying desperately to get out of it.

Passing on Italy, are ya k'nutz?

Well imaginary reader, when the trip was first proposed, I was to be going over as a buyer for our company, with the additional bonus of bringing a friend (and I suddenly had LOTS of friends, when a free trip to Italy was mentioned). I of course first chose to take my wonderful niece, or if she couldn't go, my sales rep counterpart Billie, from Houston.

Than my boss, obviously forgetting I already mentioned my niece, tells me that he will be going, and that my buddy Billie will be joining us. While I am happy my assertiveness has landed my Texas pal a trip to Italy, I was more than a little frustrated that my boss would be joining us, as that made me no longer in a position of power or authority, just a glorified "tag-a-long".

For me, the fact it was Italy, was second to the opportunity to prove myself in such an important roll. To be "the guy" who called the shots - to be the one who designed, or modified designs of new mouldings (for picture frames) - to be the person the factories respected and listened to, when I brought up ideas or complaints. Honestly I'm even a little shocked at my desire for such a huge responsibility, as the old me woulda ran from something as potentially stressful as this.

Pondering and praying about this, and remembering that God always has a plan, I realized that taking on such an exciting roll would make it much harder for me in the future to leave if I decide God wishes me to pursue religious life at the end of this "year of discernment". I could now see my disappointment in a positive light, and see that this may be a blessing in disguise, and that regardless of the outcome, I trusted Who was in control.

Thinking more on how blessed I have been, I realized that the God given grace to find blessings in what appears at first as a curse, is indeed one of the most wonderful of all Blessings. To realize the amount of hope that He has put in the heart and soul, of one who was once so hopeless and sad. To walk in the faith that He truly has named every hair on my head (although , I do giggle at what some of the names might be . . .I call this one "Bob"), and has "a plan to prosper me and not harm me". Blessed with the gifts of not only faith and hope, but with a love that will never pass away.

I am also blessed my niece didn't find out about my original idea to take her, 'cause nobody wants a peeved 14 year old girl on their hands.

O.K., so I may or may not go to Italy this trip, and either way will be fine with me, as long as it's fine with the One who made me . . .now if only I can make that a consistent everyday view.

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