I really messed up last night. God gave me an opportunity, and I took too long to "think" about it, and then it was gone.
Yesterday, after a week of suffering from ear problems ended with a severely clogged right ear, I went to a local walk-in. Night-time Pediatrics advertises itself as Quality Care for All Ages, and your wwmm, has been just about "all ages". I called to schedule an appointment, and waited a few hours until the 6 PM time they gave me had almost arrived, before casually strolling into the clinic.
Filled with lot's o' 'rents with coughing and hacking kids, I filled out my paper work, and waited my turn with the other adults (wow, I'm actually an adult, who woulda thunk it?). While waiting, a rather disheveled looking dad walked in, carrying one child, while holding another gently by his hoodie. I overheard the receptionist tell him that the next available time was 9:30pm, to which the Holy Spirit gave me a nudge "give him your appointment and come back".
What a nice thing to be able to say that I did . . .but, I didn't!
While I was busy trying to figure out all the "Why's" and "Why nots", the dad had already left with his 9:30 appointment scheduled and kids in tow.
I had decided to give him my appt., but it was too late.
Now in reflection, I realize my sin wasn't that I didn't give the man my appointment, but that I doubted God, that I didn't trust Him with my circumstance.
Oh Lord, I trust You, but do I live like I do?
I know He has forgiven me this, and I've almost forgiven myself, but I pray this lesson be burnt into my brain so it is not repeated.