Provision and Timing

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No, I am not gonna talk about my new car again, unless you really, really, want me too (O:

At Dawn Eden's blog, our lovely heroine is looking for a new DC location for the underground lair of the Dawn Patrol, but will take a room in a Vienna condo if she can find it. If any of my legions of readers (both of ya) know of anyone with a spare room, please give out a shout (although an e-mail might be better).

Her search reminded me of a beautifully painful time in my life where God's provision was demonstrated in the extreme.

When I was an atheist on my way to God, I was living with a wonderful woman who was not my wife , as even now I kinda think a non-religious wedding is silly. After becoming a Christian, the guilt of this 'caused a lot of emotions, and resulted in a rather severe depression. Because this wasn't the first time she witnessed dark empty Mike, she was naturally not overly excited about the prospect of getting married and having children with that guy (by the grace of God, that "Mike" has mostly been replaced by your monkster).

This went on for along time, with even an occasional talk about marriage (I am very happy to say, she is now married, and ready to pop out baby number one), until the painful decision to separate was finally made.

Beyond just the emotions of losing my best friend, there now was the other realities of life in DC to worry about, as single living around here is beyond expensive. I knew, with my job at the time, I could not afford to live here, and decided to move back to Baltimore. Now I had to find a job, and an apartment, and as Miss Dawn is finding out, it's stressful looking for a place, when you don't actually live there yet.

As our lease was coming to an end, and I was still no closer to finding anything, what was a depression, had turned borderline suicidal, as I just could not see anything on the horizon (but only because my eyes were on me, instead of Him). I remember a dark night in the empty house (she had already found a new place and moved out) where in tears, I called my loving God such names that you only hear on cable. When I was done, weeping on my knees, I said I was sorry, that I did trust Him, but I was just so freaking (not the real word I used) scared. Exhausted, I then fell asleep on the floor.

I started the next day as usual, by drinking my coffee while searching Baltimore's craigslist for apartments and jobs. For some reason, I thought to check out house sitting, and after only about a minute, staring in front of me was a 3 1/2 month rent free gig open in Baltimore, and the person was a Christian!. I remember how hard it was to wait until a decent hour to phone (it was about 6 am), but I did and made with the person the same day, with me moving in only a few days later.

The very Sunday I moved in, I spied a job opening, and interviewed the following day, and was hired immediately (I am great at what I do, but openings are generally scarce). On one of my first days, I met a part timer who also happened to be a Christian, and told me of a nice church around the corner from the job. A church, where I would end up being groomed for leadership, only a year later (until I started my walk towards Rome).

A free apartment, a new job, a new church, all in about a week. I still remind myself of this amazing blessing whenever things "appear" dark, and know that God will always provide me with what I need . . . Always!!!

There are a couple other blessings related to this. The first, is that while I still may get sad at times (last year completely s--ked!), I have not had a severe depression since.

The other is the wonderful grace that God gave me and my "gal pal", turning our romantic love into friendship, "eros" into "philia". Taking away my girlfriend, and giving me a sister. Praise God!

Things get dark, but there is always Light!